Monday, November 10, 2008

Academy Award for biggest cock blocker goes to....

So i'm partying in Barcelona and i meet these 2 irish chicks, now they're both hot but one is giving me a little more attention than the other, she's a redhead, we'll call her Freckles, the other is a Blonde. We'll call her Blondie.

Ok so Freckles is about 5'4, totally Irished out, w/ the works, freckles, firecrotch, and a quick lip, her homechick is about 5'9, NIIIIIICE titties n' an ample ass, shes also got freckles and although shes not a talker she's definately in the mix.

So anyway we're all hanging out, and the girls are buying me drinks YES THEY'RE GETTING ME DRUNK. So we proceed to the dance floor where Freckles isn't giving me any play, i vibe up to her and shes got no warmth, so BAM i turn to Blondie, and WOOAAAH hollly shit, there's the mojo! Blondie takes advantage and starts grinding away, getting DOWN so i'm like FUUUUUCK. Anyway we're all dancing and getting crazy, and i start whispering into Blondies ear "hey lets
get out of here" ... she loves it and starts grabbing my ass and kissing me, SHIIT so now i'm really getting turned on, i say "seriously c'mon lets bounce" Que the whimpery voice "I can't leave Freckles" WTF!! Freckles is handling her business and cruising around the spot having a good time, ok, well she can come too.. "It's cool, she can roll" i say "really?" She asks "you gotta boy for her?" FUCK!! where is my homie when i need him. My friend Hawk went back home to Sweden and so now i'm here without a wingman... "well there's ignacio" i say... lol Let me take a moment to give you some background on Ignacio...

Ignacio is a softspoken Chilean dude, he's like 6'2, a little pudgy, has a beard like santa clause and you wouldn't expect it but is none the less a pimp, he gets mad play and i SWEAR TO GOD is everywhere at once... without fail, no matter where you are in Barcelona, you're likely to run into Ignacio, he is ALWAYS in the mix... Ignacio runs an illegal hostel, my semi-permanent residence in Barcelona. The owners of the building have the penthouse and the 2nd floor. Whenever their regular "legal" hostel fills up, they send the overflow to Ignacio, at which point he fills the 2nd
floor with tourists and never fills the penthouse because that's where he stays, unless you're a hot chick or paying him under the table like i was... So basically i had the pad to myself, Ignacio was always out and about cruising the town, and it was a big spot, several rooms, mad beds, rooftop patio, hooked up. Anyway.. back to the story.

So these chicks are dragging me out of the spot, and we're headed to my spot (SO I THINK) anyway we get out front of my pad and i get the whole "ok, we're going home, goodnite"
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Not the plan.. Blondie knew my intentions, seriously she was reaching down my pants on the dance floor! I mean what am i supposed to think?? Now she's playing dumb and letting her friend run the situation?? - weak "awwwe what, come up have a beer, chill out its got a dope view" "You got a guy for me?" Freckles is doubtful...

"Yeh, IGNACIO!" LOL
"Ignacio???"
"He's a pimp, he's got a beard, you'll love him"
"nooo i dont think so"
WHAT THE HELL
"shit, alright well have a good nite"

And i bounce, pretending like i'm going back to my pad - instead of going home i slip thru the back alley and startle a guy and a prostitute getting it on in the alley, OH SHIT lol! I look away so they can continue with their wholesome exchange - but then I am staring straight at another couple .. LOL!! i start busting up and keep walking.. So what the fuck!! It's still early, i left the spot to kickit with the girls at the pad, not to walk them to my place and get shuffled at the door! So i head back to the club, grab a few more drinks, have some fun, and eventually call it a nite. Next day I'm back out having a good time, and i run into the Irish girls again! They're way excited to see me and immediately buy me a drink, allright whats up! So que the dance floor, me and blondie are at it again, and she's practically raping me on the dance floor, i swear not once but three times she literally pulled johhny out of my pants and i had to pull her into a corner so other dancers wouldn't see wtf!!! "c'mon this is crazy lets go chill out at my spot" ..... "ok" she says, this time totally comitted.. NICE!

Freckles is hooking up with this random Spanish guy so thats all good, she says she'll be alright but shes going to say goodbye, so i wait. Seconds later her and her friend and the random guy come over "We're all going" she says .... great i'm thinking, what the hell. So we're all cruising down Las Ramblas and we get to my spot, suddenly Freckles keeps walking "Where u going??" "Oh we're going to -OUR- hotel" she says ...(Blondie looks confused) and then she walks up to me, winks and says "don't worry i'll give you two the room, i got your back" NICE!!! "Where are you two gonna kickit?" I ask, motioning to her random companion.."Oh there's a balcony" she says whispering "Don't worry i'm not into him like that i dont need the room" ... nice shes dope, so we cruise to the spot.

We get into the hotel and they lead me up to this banquet hall (part of the hotel) with a huge balcony... Freckles says "i'm going to the common kitchen they have some free beers in there want one??" "Sure" i say and she disappears... Suddenly me and blondie are at it having some privacy finally, she pulls me out to the balcony and we're making out, she reaches down, free's Johnny & starts going down on me and i'm like hell yeah... overlooking the city, suddenly i look behind me and the beers there, OH SHIT BUT WHERE'S FRECKLES?? Blondie sees the beer and is like "oh no u think she saw us?" lol "probably i say".. so she takes me back to the room, and now Freckles wont open up!! Meanwhile you have to realize, i've been teased for 2 nites, and i'm talking, --TEASED-- this girl has gotten me crazy, i can barely think straight, and now Freckles is playing games...

WTF!

She finally opens the door and is fully clothed... she giggles and closes it again and i'm like "alright they're getting it on, c'mon lets go somewhere else" and then the guy comes out, and Freckles is like "goodnite!" i'm looking at the guy and he looks at me as if to say "fuckin' tease" and i'm like shit i knew that from her... so she lets us in and then she wont leave! starts saying she is going to bed, so i take blondie out of there and into the hallway and we continue where we left off, shes driving me NUTS and then.. she says it:

"Ok thats enough"

"wha?" i mumble i'm not really listening...

"I'm a good Catholic girl" ............................................................................................................................. .......................................................................................................................................................................!!

what????????

She's totally putting on breaks now and getting herself together... u serious?????????????????hollllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit what kind of good Catholic girl rapes a guy on the dance floor and then blows him on the patio.. but only enough to get him crazy... and then pumps the breaks, from zero to tease in 1.2 seconds... what are u trying to do to me woman?? seriously?? this is cool?

WTF!!! So she pulls me into the room cuz Freckles unlocked it again, and then freckles goes off to the common kitchen again... not one to take no for an answer i lock the door and grab Blondie and take her to the bed, we start getting crazy again and then her friend starts knocking, we don't answer.. so now its on, things getting wild... and then she jumps up and unlocks the door... mid romp.... WTF??? her friend comes in and AGAIN i gotta pull myself together, i sit up, grab a pillow for a little decency and just look at the two of them in disbelief, they're milling around the room like it's tea time... now in a perfect world this is when the 3some would begin, but no, not the story, Freckles is hellbent on cockblocking and i've had enough, so i tell them thanks for the drinks, that they're cock teases, and i bounce.

WHAT THE FUCK... anyway true story craziest cock teases ever. - The cock knocker and the cock blocker from Ireland.

The moral of THIS story: If you're sewn at the knees, don't act like you're down to please because there's nothing more dishonest than a tease!!!

XOXO
Rooster, Guest Blogger

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