Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (If I dated him that long, he probably would've)

Okay here it goes...

I was dating this man for a few months. He was in commercial real estate, smart, kinda handsome, tall, and witty. I would have to say I saw signs of "grinchness" on our third date, but I decided to give it a chance, since his bitterness was never directed towards me. But jeeez this man really needed to watch "The Secret!" Too bad it wasn't out then or I would have bought him 5 copies...anyways.

Fast forward to the 4th month and quite a few grinch moves later, the turning point was as follows:

We decided to meet for breakfast on his side of town. Now the previous day, I had let my friend who was a stylist try out color on my bangs, and a few other random streaks throughout my hair. I didn't like the color, and he said he'd change it the following week when he was free. He didn't charge me for the services, so I figured I could wait a week. Ok, now keeping that in mind, let me continue.
I met Grincheepoophead at his place, since we decided to walk to a restaurant near his house. As I waited patiently for him, to come downstairs, I worried a little about my hair. He was conservative but hell, I was only going to have these FIRE ENGINE red streaks in my hair for a week right?


My goodness, I knew it was bad, but the man I'd been dating for almost 4 months could not even look at me. Well, he did, but nodded his head in disappointment everytime. This fucker had the nerve to tell me people wouldn't take me seriously. Excuse me, but I didn't think I'd be trying a murder case within the next couple of days! Hello! I said that my friend was just having fun. I told him I didn't like it and he would change it next week. You'd think no big deal right? NOT! Geez OK OK it didn't look great, but fuck get over it! He made it seem as if I said I loved it and was going to keep it like this forever and a day, but shit what IF I did like it?

So 10 minutes later of mumbles, grumbles and a lecture about hair color, we finally made it to the restaurant. As we sit down and start to have a normal conversation, he looks over my shoulder. His face was so broken I thought he saw someone regurgitate their food at the table behind me. Great, now what? I say to myself. I turn and see a man, a woman and a baby in the stroller next to the table. Hmmmm. What could have possibly put an even more GROUCHIER facial expression on Grincheepoophead?

I turned to him and asked "am I missing something here?" He said "Look...just look at her. How could a woman let herself go like that? I don't care if you had a baby...lose the weight." WTH? Wait....WHAT THE HELL? I turn to look at the family and zero'd in on the baby, yes the BABY in the stroller, not a 5 year old kid. And even if their child was 5, why is it his concern and why would it bring him down? We don't even know these people for goodness sake. Focus on my hair again...asswipe! Seriously, the baby looked about 3 MONTHS OLD! He then talks about how Madonna and Julia Roberts lost their weight quickly. Uh yeah, need I say more?

After that incident I have to admit, I punished myself for a few more weeks. At this point, I wished I knew "The Secret" but I didn't. You live and you learn.

The moral to THIS story: Never date anyone who doesn't love themselves, but if they're HOT, teach them the Law of Attraction.

That Girl