Saturday, November 1, 2008

Laugh until I cry

When you think of the perfect guy, you almost always think of someone who makes you feel special. A guy who can walk into a room full of attractive people and still hold you on a pedestal. He's tall, dark and handsome, and in my case, Mr. Chuckles or "Chuck", also had an AMAZING body of muscles. His arms were the size of my head and they were very sexily decorated with tattoos. I met this guy online, where else do people in L.A meet each other?

Our first date was at Chuck's house. We ordered pizza and watched episodes of Prison Break. The conversation was good, he was confident in his words, and as the night progressed, he pulled me to him and just held me all night. It felt like a fairy tale, I was wrapped up in the most amazing embrace. His heart beat was so soothing and his touch was like butter. We talked during the show, and learned about each other's likes and dis-likes. Basic first date conversation. It was awesome, so we scheduled another date.

Second date was out for dinner. Food was good. I had a glass of wine and he had water. When we were done, we decided again, to watch Prison Break. I looked forward to more of those muscle covered arms. This time I stayed the night. We didn't have sex, but we did sleep naked. I marveled as he undressed and slipped under the covers with me. His body was straight out of a Men's Fitness magazine and as he got in the bed, in one fool swoop, he wrapped his arm around me and in an instant I was next to his bare chest. Warm, soft, and S E X Y!!!!!! Needless to say, I M E L T E D! I slept like a baby that night, and every night I spent there since.

Our dates progressed well and after about a month we had done a lot of kissing, hugging, touching, humping and LAUGHING.

The thing about laughter. It comes in all shapes and sounds. Each one is unique, and each one is special in the ears of loved ones.

Chuck had a very unique laugh. His laugh could be compared to Cyrano De Bergerac's nose. It...stood out. It protruded from his mouth like an oversized.....thing. I didn't really discover his full laugh until we went to the movies. I mean, we had joked around before and traded a few "chuckles" but I was never REALLY funny around him. He caught my jokes, but I guess didn't find them tooooo funny. Well, needless to say, the movie really did him in. Or the previews I should say. We went to go see No Country for Old Men, so whatever previews would have been in that movie were what we saw. I think it may have been Forgetting Sarah Marshall or something. But, whatever....that's irrelevant.

Chuck had a piercing laugh. Somewhere between a hyena and nails on chalk board. The INSTANT I heard it I sank into my seat. "How could this be!? OMG NO! Now everyone is staring at us!" Every thought went through my head. All I could do was to PRAY TO THE GODS that this was the only comedy preview. "Please All Mighty Dating Gods....Dead babies, dead babies, dead babies!!!!!!!!!!!" But alas....the dating gods had a sense of humor. His laughter continued through the preview, heads turned, my hat got lower, and I drank the entire large soda to cover my face. Throughout the movie all I could only think of was how I would continue seeing the amazing guy. If I could see past his horrendous laugh and see the man that was behind it. I finally concluded that I was not so shallow. It was a laugh after all. I wasn't fucking his laugh, or kissing it, or being held by it. No, I was a much bigger person than that!

Or so I thought.

Flash forward to dinner, or to another movie night at his place, or to phone conversations! I don't know what it was, or how I never heard it before. But suddenly, hyenas were EVERYWHERE! Haunting me. I would lay in bed at night, think of him and how wonderful I felt around him, and then I'd hear AAAAAAaaaaaaaHHaaHHHhaaa! wwwwwwwaaaAWSHHHH!...and shit the bed.
After much soul searching, I realized this boys and girls:

Laughter comes in all shapes and sounds. Each one is unique, and each one is special in the ears of loved ones.

But Mr.Chuckles laugh...was NOT special to me. I found myself NOT wanting to be funny to avoid the ear ache...and nightmares. And well...I can't live like that. Being forced to be unfunny so that I wouldn't hear the inevitable laughter. Shit, I'll find someone whose laugh makes me smile instead of cringe. And so...the search continues.




The moral of THIS story: A laugh, although it may brighten your day, or make your soul shine...should sound like church bells on a breezy summer morning. Not like a fire truck at 4a.m.



The Alleged Ringleader said...

I have a co-worker with one of those laughs. He is so sexy and a really quiet guy but when he laughs or sneezes it's REALLY loud and gnarly!